thoughts of a wedding

I went to a wedding this evening. my second cousin's wedding. I cried a bit, I always cry at weddings, I don't even want to imagine what a mess I'll be at my own! It made me think alot, and made me a bit lonely. The bridesmaids had been friends of the bride since grade school. I don't have any friends from that long, come to think of it, do I have any friends good enough to be bridesmaids? My best friend would be my groom,so who else would stand next to me? Anna and Caroline. Are two bridesmaids enough? It makes me sad that I haven't had friends for that long, kinda makes me feel relatively pathetic in the social arena.
They played Kenny G during the wedding. UGGH!!! When I get married, I'm NOT playing any crap music, and I'm not having an open bar, I'm not even going to have a bar, I don't even want to risk having drunk people at my wedding.
Weddings also have a knack of making relatively lonely people even lonelier. I miss Steve. I saw Mom and Caroline there for like 3 hours, I had 3 hours with my mommy which I spent most of talking to my aunt kuz my Mom was socializing with people that don't call her every other night. I want to mommy!
I gave caroline a mouse hat I crocheted, she liked it, and that made me happy, really I had a good time, I just wonder sometimes. and when a woman starts wondering, she starts getting ideas, and thinking (said in a derogatory Gaston -from beauty and the beast- voice).